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Inwardly Digest - From Reading, to Praying, to Composing

From Reading, to Praying, to Composing

Posted by Dan Weber on

The following is an expression of my experience of meditating on Psalms 1-6 over the past couple weeks.  I don't want to call it a Psalm, but it is a composed poem of a prayer that might be helpful for God's people. I hope to compose more throughout my journey. Whether labeled a poem or a prayer, I'll simply number them for now and see what comes of it.
 

#1

I know these words, but this world is foreign.
 
Reading, reciting, nodding along.
     Phrase by phrase, I have comfort in the familiarity.
     The vocabulary, the shapes on my lips and tongue,
     The known sounds.
These all deceive me.
 
I don’t know this place.
     I’m confronted and confused
     Should I read beyond the words and see the world.
     Even inhabit.
 
Embodied conversation with God
     with postures and specified locations
     and countless words to describe real words,
     words, spoken to verbalize
     with my mouth
     and vocal cords
     those prayers that have hid
          and try to hide still
     safely in my heart, unspoken?
 
A God who gets angry, without my permission
     And has every right and intention to act on it?
     Who graciously promises
           And wrathfully threatens
               With the same word?
The expectation of inner righteousness?
A beyond-me-morality dictating my choices?
The unseen spiritual realm ruling over all earthly powers?
     Including my own.
Running scared to some refuge,
     Praying to find an open door of shelter like an actual refugee?
 
And peace?
 
Peace.
Real peace.
Restful peace.
Head hitting the pillow and leaving all cares behind, peace.
Waking refreshed and watched over, peace.
 
Not an experienced peace,
     But a promised one
     And thereby an enacted and given one.
     Found in the words;
     Rather, in the space between the words:
              Between “real” and “experienced.”
Not a peace seen with the eyes,
     But a peace heard with the ears
     All the way to the heart.
 
A heard and promised peace
From the One who has heard
          Who reigns
          Who will reign
          Who hears
          Who has answered
          Who watches
          And knows.
 
Blessed.
For the sake of His steadfast love.
 
Speaking, praying, sobbing, meditating, listening, delighting.
Wandering and wondering.
On the path, by the river.
Blessed.
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